Principles are ways of successfully dealing with reality to get what you want out of life.
Ray Dalio, one of the world’s most successful investors and entrepreneurs, cites principles as his key to success.
In 1975, Ray Dalio founded Bridgewater Associates, out of his two-bedroom apartment in New York City. Over forty years later, Bridgewater has grown into the largest hedge fund in the world and the fifth most important private company in the United States (according to Fortune magazine), and Dalio himself has been named to TIME’s list of the 100 most influential people in the world. Along the way Dalio discovered unique principles that have led to his and Bridgewater’s unique success. It is these principles, and not anything special about Dalio, that he believes are the reason behind whatever success he has had. He is now at a stage in his life that he wants to pass these principles along to others for them to judge for themselves and to do whatever they want with them.
Work Principle
If you find you can't reconcile major differences—especially in values—consider whether the relationship is worth preserving.
There are all kinds of different people in the world, many of whom value different kinds of things. If you find you can't get in sync with someone on shared values, you should consider whether that person is worth keeping in your life. A lack of common values will lead to a lot of pain and other harmful consequences and may ultimately drive you apart. It might be better to head all that off as soon as you see it coming.
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What should you do if the person is a family member?
This is a work principle so I was referring to a work relationship though it also generally applies as a life principle except for dealing with family members. For most family relationships there is less ability to end them. So, when there are important irreconcilable differences in values with family members, how to deal with them has to be worked out. As a principle, whenever you and others are in a disagreement that isn’t going well, you and they should pause the disagreement to agree on how your rules of engagement - i.e. the ways that you will disagree - to resolve your disagreement. As a rule, I recommend a mutually agreed mediator and the other protocols explained in Principles.
As a father how would you deal with it if your son decided that his philosophy does not match yours and he decides to distance himself from you? Because my parents don't agree with me and they constantly belittle me and talk of a future for me that I don't see myself in honestly.
You and your parents need to step out of your disagreement and agree on what the protocols for disagreeing well should be, perhpas doing that with a mutually agreed mediator. For example, you and them need to agree on who has the right to determine what your future should be (presumably that is you). Please recognize that you believing that your parents belittle you might or might not be right. I don’t know how old you are or your circumstances which plays into how you would best deal with this issue, but I would say that the principles/advice I just gave you would apply regardless of that.
Finding common ground isn't always required for a good relationship, but being too far apart on values can be detrimental to your own well being. At least that's what I interpreted from it.
That’s right.
What if the conflict in values occurred within a family?
Each person has to answer the question of how much they will be bound together by being members of the same family relative to how much they will be torn apart by their irreconcilable values differences.
But sometimes what the company does tell everything. When people are promoted but you are not, and people's advice are taken but not yours, is it still necessary to have the conversation with your managers?
Of course. You have thoughts that you’re not sharing and they have thoughts that they’re not sharing that will affect your life in important ways. You need to understand what is true and what you both want to do about it.
Values are uncompromising which is unlike work itself as we can change our job but not values.
I agree with that. But can you be really clear on your values? Most people are not. I contend that you cannot be crystal clear on your values unless you reflect a lot on the choices you make because the choices you make reflect the hierarchy of values you have. Most people don’t really know them because because they exist in the subconscious mind, so by reflecting on these - both by observing what you are choosing and then exploring why you are choosing them - can you understand yourself.
Work Principle
- Get and Stay in Sync
If you find you can't reconcile major differences—especially in values—consider whether the relationship is worth preserving.
Any person or organization can adopt Principles to better achieve their goals.
Learn what Principles are and how they are applied at Principles.com
